I sat longer than usual on the bench, i knew my train was about to arrive but i just didn’t quite feel like catching it. I knew that waiting wouldn’t make him sit next to me but i wanted to sit here for a while longer hoping that he did. I wanted to feel hopeful, i needed atleast that. I am not sure if i fell in love with him, though i did care deeply and really did see him as a best friend.
But how can you love or be friends with someone you bump into everyday, waiting to catch the train home from work. How can you feel something by sitting for two hours a day talking with them and building a connection?
The last week i’ve say here and he hasn’t shown up, i knew this day would come. He’s moved on with his life and quite right. We never exchanged numbers or even added eachother on social media, which i can’t seem to fatham. Why did we not ever do that? Is that not what people do now, exchange user names and connect through a world of meme’s and cat videos.
I think maybe it would of all gone a different way, infact hundreds of ways. We could of spoken more, met up. Even exchange messages to confirm that we would both be at the station waiting for our seperate trains. But then i do realise if we had that, i don’t think it wouls be as magical.
For two hours a day, 5 days week after a long day at work i would sit and talk with a stranger. His name was Charlie, and for 6 months we built this friendship. At first it was me plonking my arse down on a bench after a really horrible day at work. I was at my all time lowest in life. I had a rubbish job, no boyfriend and not many friends. I pretty much spent my life either at work or in my home cuddling my cat. If i did go out, it was because i needed to get food and things to live or the odd friend would randomly want to meet for lunch. Which i can say was not that often, i had no social circle nor remember the last time i went out with friends for a girls day or even night drinking cocktails.
My life was shit and that day i wanted to run onto the train tracks and just end it all. But meeting Charlie, gave me hope and the fact i couldn’t leave my poor kitty alone.
After that day bumping into him became this weird coincidence and before we knew it, us sitting on the same bench waiting for our train became a regular thing. We would spend a few hours talking, purposely missing our travel home.
This handsome guy with dark hair and a quirky sense of dress style, made me feel like i existed in this world once again. He made me laugh, talked me out of my darkest thoughts and most of all he listened.
Six months is a long time isn’t it? Especially when we never exchanged numbers, the more i think about it the more i wonder if he really did exist.
If i had his number, maybe i would know why for some strange reason, Charlie left without trace…