Leaves set free – poem 

The air so cool and leaves set free,

Swooshing to a place id like to see,

With animals hiding to keep themselves warm,

Birds are fleeing away fast like a bee swarm,

The fox and owl find food to eat,

And the red breast Robin finally lands his feet,

The air so cool and the leaves set free,

Each is an animal I’d love to be.

Rebecca Pursell

Weekend diary – It’s okay that I don’t have kids.

I wasn’t really going to post again but things have been bothering me and as you can tell by the title its about motherhood – And a little bit more.
(PLEASE READ THE LAST BIT ID LOVE FOR THIS TO BE A THING!!)

As the world grows, we grow. The population is expanding and I didn’t really notice this in highschool or even younger that the urge to have children either young or in general grows increasingly popular.
Now I’m not here to throw statistics because this post is coming from the heart, and hopefully anyone else that is kind of in this situation.

So firstly, I don’t dislike children, I don’t hate the idea of being a mother and I sure as shit don’t hate anyone that embarks on becoming parent. It’s really not about trashing parenting or kids – It’s the people aka parents or society’s treatment towards those who don’t have any at all.

What bought this on? Okay, I am 26 pushing 27 and every now and again I think about having a baby and how cute and awesome it would be to have a mini me. I get kind of sad that I aren’t already a mother because most if not all people that I know/friends are already parents or becoming. So when I see this, it upsets me even more – But that’s actually another reason which we will get at.
I then ask my boyfriend about the subject of kids and you know I think because he’s this typical guy its like ‘lets not talk about that’ or ‘don’t want kids’ I used to get upset with his reactions but then I actually realised I really aren’t ready to commit to having a baby. I am not in love fully with the idea of becoming a mum.
Because once that moment of sadness goes, I’m like kids what the fuck no.

Which is good right? I know that I am not ready, well I don’t think a parent really ever is but the mental idea of being a happy family is not my thing. In fact seeing the amount of people with children just lately is really annoying as hell… I mean come on, don’t you ever feel like people just NEED to plaster it ever about how awesome there child is, how big the baby’s first shit was or the constant updates of someone that is becoming a mother. The pregnancy process is the same right? I don’t need to see 100 females on my timeline complaining about the the same shit to do with being pregnant.
I literally had to stop following a youtuber/crocheter because her weekly vlogs or any kind of vlog/blog was constant pregnancy and I just don’t get excited for people who are pregnant..

Which is something else, I literally don’t care. Your pregnant yay, how am I meant to react? Okay babies are super cute and I love crocheting baby items because they are waaaaaay prettier than some of the stuff for us adults!
Like I’ve said, I don’t had kids!

Okay, so most of my friends or people I know have kids. It’s all super cute at first and I am genuinely happy for them because they are glowing, excited and shopping for adorable things but then it’s 4 hours later and I am bored. Once the baby is born its all cute and you weirdos want to sniff the baby, you want to support your friends and be for them as much as possible because you don’t need to have a child to understand how difficult it is raising a baby – AHEM like I’ve said I have one million friends who have kids and social media. Put the two together you never stop hearing about it.
Plus it’s kind of common sense, I can’t imagine the stress especially if your not getting much sleep – Enough of being sympathetic here.

What’s happening is that, even though my social life lacks. It really does, I don’t see friends or have friends to go out with drinking. It’s me, my boyfriend and my cat – The only friend I do see has a baby and I probably see this person once in a blue moon.
So when I say my social life sucks or I am alone I really am.

Right back on track  – So because I don’t have a kid, I don’t get invited out to parks or enjoy a day at the beach, In fact I’ve hardly seen any of the sunny weather the UK’s been getting because all of the people that are my friends go out with each other or with others because they have kids to have fucking play dates with.
This kills me… it really hurts.

I’m a human being, with needs and a heart. Me not having a child does not make me less worthy than someone who is a mother. Just because I don’t have a baby to talk about or have baby talk with also does not mean I am not interested. I also don’t understand the constant comparisons – Yes being a parent is tiring and you may of not had much time to your self but my life does not compare. Without a kid, I still have busy days and moments where I can’t even eat lunch.

It literally feels like I am pointless, I am not even the person that gets used as a last resort.

HEY WORLD! I don’t have kids and you know something, I don’t have that feeling yet to be a mother – I might not EVER have that constant yearning, I mean every now and again its nice to think about but these past months I’ve really learnt things about myself.
Who knows what my age will or if at all? My cat is enough for now and my god damn boyfriend and mother!

I or anyone without a child should not be branded or looked down at! We are people, we are still contributing to this world and as far as I am concerned I am making cute shit for babies – Even if it means using my cat as a model! WE are still worthy of your time, honestly I could really do with a social setting. I kind of hate that the real friends I’ve kind of made over the years are online, i’d love to do a meet up!

I love every single one of you that has  child, I have so much respect – Keep rocking it!

I love writing random posts like this but I would love to also to a weekly chit chat with me kind of thing so if you fancy joining in on a conversation with me on a post drop me a comment with a subject you’d like for me to talk about!
Literally, anything and ill have a moan or just a fun post – Okay I am ready to hit the sack read my book, which I cant wait to finish and I think i’ll have another review sooner than I thought!

Have an awesome weekend, and guess what?!?!?! I started to crochet today only a little bit because the weekends are now a kind of me thing and I always have shit to do like the pointless stuff, food shopping blah blah.

Please refrain from posting any hate comments or negativity. This is not a slanderous post and If you don’t like my ‘honest’ views just click off my shit.

P.S Am I sad that I bought a back pack for my two day trip next week LOL I can’t stop looking at it I want to pack it already haha – Also if you have a Primark store they do a waterproof mac that folds into a pocket for like £9.00 worth getting if its a  bit rainy or something light to wear if your out.  I need a new one because it’s green and I don’t like it anymore, plus because it’s from cheap ass Primark where slaves make the clothes the button on the pockets broke.

RIGHT – Going now bye.

Catch up – blog changes & more 

I think have a book addiction but I’m also a hoarder. I’ve come to terms with this.

So I’m being distant, I can’t help it. I hate social media and right now and even crochet, including the ‘look at me’ posts all the fucking time.

but I’m pushing through because I have a craft fayre in October and a Christmas one in December so I am very busy.

I have lots of blogs to catch up on and I’ll get to your posts at the weekend.

This week and most of last week was none stop and will be til Saturday so I can relax and catch up on everything.

ANYWAYS. Before I go I want to announce something.

I’m going to be getting rid of my website and using the Facebook shop function, OK I haven’t worded it the way I should. The website is technically staying but the store will be linked in Facebook does that make sense? I think this will be a better marketing strategy for me as MOST if not all my orders come straight from the Facebook world. I know how I can pursue customers and I am more Facebook savvy. I think this will help my website more by linking it into one.

I’ve also got two blankets available on my Etsy shop. It’s not a permanent thing as a personal preference I don’t like Etsy but way to go to everyone that has success with it.

OKAY ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT

Im really really really really putting my mind into writing. So watch this space! I also have some short stories saved as part of a new blog schedule I am planning.

Which brings me to my schedule!

From the beginning of August I’ll be posting 3 times a week. I want to try and do specific days but I know that won’t happen so as long as it’s 3x I’m okay.

One day it will be crochet, another day it’s going to be random anything from crafts to a rant. Third post will be story/writing related.

I’ve yet to do my bullet journal video and making t shirt yarn. Life does happen!

Now here’s the fun part woop woop. Every two weeks It will be 4 posts because I’m going to do book reviews!!!!!!!! Heck I might even start a book club every month?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!
So that’s it for now! I pinky promise to catch up on blogs. I have liked some but yet to comment. Peace out.

Monday mayhem


So I’ve been way off with my blogging and everything else. I guess I’ve been busy but at the same time I started to feel a little low again and I needed to try and just snap out of it.

I’m feeling okay today, i finished my unicorn order and have a small order to finish and post it by Thursday. I am however trying to tackle my “I don’t want to leave the house” attitude and I need to get functional.

I joined a chat room for people with depression but I got banned because the owner is Christian and a hugely against the LGBT community. Anyways, I have decided to start bullet journaling. What is is this madness you say?

Okay well I am going to do a whole post on this probably next week but this is for sure something to get you more organised and more productive. Check out YouTube and type in bullet journal for videos but I actually recommend Amanda as she is so cool and I love her style. I will give you guys some beginner shit when I’m all set up as I think because I’m a beginner it would be cool to do with this with newbies as well. Also next week I’ll link all my items I got and where I purchased etc as today I’m off to get more stationary.

I also had to take my cat for his jabs last week and I bought him a water fountain as the heat here has been vile. It’s cooler today but I keep getting bursts of being warm!

I also have to try and fit in the doctors as I have this weird rash on my legs OK so it sounds gross but I think it’s dry skin idk. I also am still planning my store content and I guess my mood has slowed me down BUT I have an interview this week for a part time job at TGIF in the kitchen. I want it so I can not only get some extra bucks for my crocheting and store up Keep but it gets me out of the house.

Day 1 of serious dieting, I had two boiled eggs for breakfast (brunch!) I will probably eat a sandwich whilst I’m out so I will have some fruit and green tea when I get home.

I am also interested in calligraphy, so I am going to get some cheap pens and sketch pad and practise. I also want to learn how to doodle haha. I want to do things that relax me I know crocheting does but lately it’s all been for the sake of the store.

I had the best weekend not doing anything. Saturday I played ps4 all afternoon until midnight and Sunday I relaxed and watched youtube videos all day and just switched off from everything.

So I’ll be blogging again in the week I just have so much to do I can’t keep up and I never really saw blogging as priority when it comes to actual life.

I hope you are all well and I will sit down at some point tomorrow and catch up with your blogs.
Xoxo