Monday mayhem


So I’ve been way off with my blogging and everything else. I guess I’ve been busy but at the same time I started to feel a little low again and I needed to try and just snap out of it.

I’m feeling okay today, i finished my unicorn order and have a small order to finish and post it by Thursday. I am however trying to tackle my “I don’t want to leave the house” attitude and I need to get functional.

I joined a chat room for people with depression but I got banned because the owner is Christian and a hugely against the LGBT community. Anyways, I have decided to start bullet journaling. What is is this madness you say?

Okay well I am going to do a whole post on this probably next week but this is for sure something to get you more organised and more productive. Check out YouTube and type in bullet journal for videos but I actually recommend Amanda as she is so cool and I love her style. I will give you guys some beginner shit when I’m all set up as I think because I’m a beginner it would be cool to do with this with newbies as well. Also next week I’ll link all my items I got and where I purchased etc as today I’m off to get more stationary.

I also had to take my cat for his jabs last week and I bought him a water fountain as the heat here has been vile. It’s cooler today but I keep getting bursts of being warm!

I also have to try and fit in the doctors as I have this weird rash on my legs OK so it sounds gross but I think it’s dry skin idk. I also am still planning my store content and I guess my mood has slowed me down BUT I have an interview this week for a part time job at TGIF in the kitchen. I want it so I can not only get some extra bucks for my crocheting and store up Keep but it gets me out of the house.

Day 1 of serious dieting, I had two boiled eggs for breakfast (brunch!) I will probably eat a sandwich whilst I’m out so I will have some fruit and green tea when I get home.

I am also interested in calligraphy, so I am going to get some cheap pens and sketch pad and practise. I also want to learn how to doodle haha. I want to do things that relax me I know crocheting does but lately it’s all been for the sake of the store.

I had the best weekend not doing anything. Saturday I played ps4 all afternoon until midnight and Sunday I relaxed and watched youtube videos all day and just switched off from everything.

So I’ll be blogging again in the week I just have so much to do I can’t keep up and I never really saw blogging as priority when it comes to actual life.

I hope you are all well and I will sit down at some point tomorrow and catch up with your blogs.
Xoxo

Banned from the laptop

So I’m not allowed on the laptop today, but little do these people know I have WP on my phone and everything like Ebay to keep me entertained.

I’m not well, I don’t know what’s wrong.  I couldn’t get into the doctors today they were fully booked and I have to call back at 8 am tomorrow. They know my symptoms but hey ho. 

So ive been getting light headed/dizzy.  It started Sunday I think and I didn’t feel so good on the feet. I got into bed lay down but everytime I sat up the the room was spinning.  I stayed lay down til around 4am and It sort of went away.

Yesterday was the same, but it didn’t seem the be as bad just little spouts of light head and I managed to browse laptop and do things but I did keep feeling weird. 

Woke up this morning, I sat up the room was spinning I tried to walk and it was all dizzy.  I’m still currently feeling light headed so hence the reason why I’m not  allowed on the laptop

I have anxiety which is making me  worse because I’m panicking. I have a feeling that it’s my right ear or maybe congestion, or vertigo.  

I haven’t smoked for two days which I read makes your blood levels low and you can be dizzy but I was smoking Sunday so doesn’t making sense. 

Just needed to rant and talk and about it instead of filling my FB with a status.

Fuck my life some times! I haven’t felt health and normal nor happy in forever.

I might crochet a little later I have to pop out soon which I’m dreading. 

Happy tuesday folks sorry for the not so happy post lol!

I’m back – My week in a nutshell

 

So i took that break from the blog, and i didn’t think it would also mean i took a break from crocheting and writing. But lets be honest my writing has gone and I’ve hit a brick wall – Alex doesn’t want to come back and I am okay with that for a while.

Let’s start with where i left off, i was ready and off for a girls night in. Which was amazing! I didn’t get home til around 7am the next day and boy was i feeling sorry for myself. Yup, i woke up still drunk and it wasn’t until Thursday night I felt my normal self.
It’s safe to say that I don’t think i will be stupid enough to drink that much again as i know deep down it doesn’t agree with my body and I suffered with major anxiety for two days BUT I enjoyed myself.
I laughed until i couldn’t breathe and my neck and throat the next day was in such pain.

I also saw a memory pop up on my FB if you can see me on the collage top right, I’m with my friend and it was a good few years ago maybe at least 5 – We went to London for her birthday as her birthday falls on New years day and of course we went on the London eye!
I’d been on it before when i used to regularly visit a few other friends but it was still a great time especially at night!

My second yarn order arrived on the Tuesday for my c2c blanket which I’m taking my mothers today and do some of it. I also bought King Cole riot in the lovely green tones and thinking of making a shawl – Scrapping the one I currently have and using this yarn instead.

Last Monday was also a day where we laid my boyfriends nana to rest and so it was a time where i felt i needed to just take that little bit of time for myself as death seems to be something that lays heavy on the soul.
Tuesday again, my boyfriends mother flew back to Spain and we spent most of the day/afternoon with her until she left.

Friday i went shopping and got myself some new shoes, when i will wear them i don’t know but i think they are pretty cool!
I’m actually pissed off that my jeans don’t fit. The struggles of being a girl! No seriously, I had two pairs of jeans black high waist and some normal dark blue. My black ones have been binned because i wore them that much they have holes where no hole should be.
So i thought you know i can’t wear the same pair all the time, but when I am in the house i generally only wear leggins or lounge pants.
So i went to the SAME store i got those black jeans from, i was going to get the same type until i saw what is like the current trends.
They have these jeans called ‘mum’ jeans – They are loose and look so comfy, some are plain and some have those little rips in them. I picked up a pair of plain black ones and I was super chuffed as I am a casual person and these were my style.
I got the same size as the black jeans and the blue ones i WAS wearing that day.
I never try shit on, i don’t have the patience to be in and out of a changing room it annoys me.
I got home, tried these jeans on – They didn’t fit. In fact I couldn’t even get them over my arse! I cried inside and i was mad but also confused. Apart of me was like you need to diet and sort your shit out then i realised that it wasn’t because I had put weight on.
It’s the cheap shitty store that is called PRIMARK. I mean why do my other jeans fit but not these? So now I have to go back next week and either exchange them or get my money back. I am probably going to exchange and get a few tops with the credit and go else where for jeans. – Seriously though no wonder women have so many issues with themselves.

Apart from that, the rest of the weekend has been relaxed. I sorted out my shoe/coat cupboard and literally threw out 4 bin bags  full of shoes and crap. I still have the corner of it to sort out but most of that is boxes of books and my jewelry making stuff. I keep thinking i should give all that away but I can’t part with that craft, i may go back to it one day but i just like the beads to be honest.

 

I also bought ANOTHER box for my yarn. I had bags and things just placed on top of my other boxes so they needed a home! I put all my current yarn that i use in one box and the ones i will be using – I also sorted out my WIP bag and got a tin to put my pens and pencils in for when I’m drawing etc.
I also sorted out all of my notebooks where I make notes of patterns and stitches and threw some old ones out from many moons ago.

It’s kind of tidier in my bedroom I still have some more things that need throwing out which i will get to this week. It feels good to get rid of things!

 

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Welcome to my office!

So i don’t have room or money or even a glamorous home where I have a special craft room or office. My creations consist of me sitting on the floor like the above picture or on my bed!

Now I was playing around with the idea of a c2c graphgan. I got pissed off with stitch fiddle BUT IVE MASTERED IT.

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I spent a while finding the right picture an then when i did i sat with relief YES FINALLY I CAN DO THIS. I went out got my black and white yarn (yes more yarn) printed off the graph and got pissed off.
I could barely see the boxes and with it being a black background it was even harder, so i was like hmm. I went out got some of those gold/silver Sharpies and thought i need these to make it easier to mark off.

Nope, so i changed everything.
I am no longer doing a c2c graphgan I am doing a SC (Single crochet) graph. The first time i printed it off, i realised that if i did it as a c2c it would be the size of my room. So keep that in mind folks when your making your graph pictures of the rows etc.

But i kept the measurements the same when i re-printed it as it works out differently.

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Firstly, i set my colours as just two as i knew that i would only be using black and white yarn.
Secondly I changed how many pages I wanted it to be printed. This helps ALOT!
So the more pages, the bigger the squares/stitches are.
Thirdly, to make it easier i used grey as my main colour on paper but I am still using black yarn. This is to make sure my eyes are less strained etc as i do wear glasses and I don’t have the best sight.

So, heres the fun part. The larger boxes all have mini squares in them. The mini squares are your stitches. So each little square represents one sc.
You also don’t work from the corner you work as normal like a blanket but you still do the same concept of a c2c graph going along but marking it off etc.

When you look at the boxes the little squares are always ten across and ten up. So you will have 100 mini stitches/squares inside that box. Unless where if you can see my pattern cuts off at the end.
So I know how many to chain, 10 across for each box plus the 6 at the end. So i have 116 to chain and going up you just count for the height.
I’ll chain 116 + 1 as you will always work second chain from the hook.
It’s as easy as that! One little square is one sc 😀
I am about to get started on this tomorrow with a fresh mindset. Though i will be sorting out how many bobbins ill need tonight etc.

I have kind of lost my crojo a little and I am trying it hard to get motivated to do all these projects – I think i need some smaller, fun things to make?

(I’ve also forgotten i used to do a weekly diary so i think I will change it to weekly round up)

 

Happy Easter everyone! Hope you all have a great day ❤

None craft post

thankyou

This is a none craft post today. I was  going to blog about my Bina the bear but she still isn’t done. I didn’t do much Crocheting yesterday as i felt a little poorly, my head was pounding and i just wasn’t in the mood. Today though its around 4PM here an i still haven’t done any – I finally found my plug to my printer so i have been writing off all my purchased and downloaded patterns so i don’t have to keep looking at my phone. I am though once i’ve done writing this go on to do some crocheting.

The point of this blog today?

I just wanted to say thank you to those who read, comment and like my posts. I am not a popular blog and this was never my intention when i set the thing up. I wanted to write as it’s something i love and incorporate my hobby.
Thought i may not get hundreds of likes – My reading stats are great and i just want to thank those that do take the time to read my ramblings.

This has been such a personal journey for me as i feel i have been able to connect myself with the world and i get to read some fantastic blogs along the way. I am following so many creative people, not all crocheters but artists, writers even mothers who just like to cook and craft.

I feel truly blessed to come across such inspirational people and it always amazes me at how many people in this world exist. I feel at home, i feel this community is where i belong and i have not had the feeling of belonging for a long time.
I also feel bless that i get to have a conversation with some of you and that i get a response back – It’s not always been easy with me, i doubt a lot of things and this world is like the movie Mean Girls. A weird way to describe it but if you don’t have specifics you get ignored. How many times have i tried to talk to strangers and the only people that talk back are the ones that are just as odd as me – So for a change being here i am no longer an outcast.

I am not calling you outcasts haha! 

SO my hands are cold because i am forever cold, i will go now and probably read the million of patterns i have printed. I need to sort them out into folders etc as well.

 

Happy Saturday, have a great weekend & stay safe as always 🙂 xoxoxo

Weekly diary 6 – I think?

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It’s that time again for me to ramble on and i quite enjoy it! So what have we got?  It’s the 28th of February already and i’m still struggling to remember that it’s 2017. Two months have gone by so quickly and nothings been achieved for me and my crochet as planning takes a long  time.

What i can say my Etsy store is up and running but i haven’t listed anything as of yet – I may want to keep my Etsy as just a way to market my name when purchasing. I know that sounds bad but i feel as though it’s a difficult place to start off and with so much handmade and craft its quite competitive. I will however consider using this as well to sell my patterns – Which the designing has been put on hold for the time being.
I don’t want it to take up most of my day as i still have a few projects that i want to complete and i can fully commit myself. That being said, the pattern i was writing for my retro colour yarn i wont be doing. I’ve just decided to make a ton of diamonds – So watch this space.

In other news, if you have noticed the picture at the top i have just started to read this book. I’ve had it for over a few weeks now maybe longer and i really wanted to get into it. So last night i read a few pages, i love Tolkien and it’s been a while since I’ve read any of his books and so it took me a while to grasp his style. I am excited though to read this as a huge Lord of the rings fan. I do believe i want to buy the other books of his the middle earth collection i think its like 12 books? But i need to commit to reading all of my books ive purchased within the last 6 months. Its alot, i think i have an addiction to buying books and then just not reading them. That being said, even though i have continued to buy i have a shit load of ones that i haven’t read since moving into this flat. Think i may have a mini library. I am running out of room to store stuff, not just books but yarn and everything else.

Let me just say, i hope this isn’t just me but you know when you do a big spring clean and a huge clear of stuff – Why is it a month later more stuff appears? Honestly, whats annoying is i struggle to find a pair of socks or enough hangers for my clothes and all the must have things disappear but random junk like paper always piles up. Seriously! i have about 2 or drawers full of paper. Bills, letters, christmas cards, random crap. I can’t cope!

So this week, i promise myself i will slowly sort out each room and throw out crap – I need to do it as i said i think last week we are planning on finally moving so yeah.

It’s been a good productive week, i did have some low days. Mainly because i don’t have many or if any friends. I really don’t. I must spend 99% of my time alone in the other room doing my own thing whilst my boyfriend does his, which is perfectly fine but in regards to conversation with people its quite low.
I have people on social media, sure it’s people from school and who i have met over the years but they aren’t friends. I get the odd comment or like on my posts and once in a blue moon i will meet up with a friend but that’s about it. I got really sad as i really thought about how lonely i actually am… The only two people i speak to are my mother and boyfriend.
I cant remember the last time i got invited out for a girls night and have drinks and fun. I do have the people i met from work message me every now and again to meet up and go out but in reality i have no social life.
I see all the people i used to go out with doing all the things i want to do regularly – Ladies that lunch, random trips out for ice cream or something stupid. I don’t do much with my boyfriend either, something has fizzled and that makes me sad. No lets go do this tonight, most of the time i have to beg him to  come chill and watch films and I’m lucky i get that.
Sometimes it’s not even about going out, where are my friends who want to message me daily and talk? I have thought i should be the one to make the effort and totally i should, and i have and sometimes i get things like message you back in a bit I’m just in the middle of something and i am okay with that because we have lives but it can be like 4 days and i wont hear anything. Which makes me wonder that i care more than others care about me.

I saw something on FB that made me upset and i won’t say what but i didn’t get invited – I always seem to be someone that’s a last resort. When no mother fucker can do what you want, they see my name oh yeah ill just drop this person a line.  It doesn’t help that i no longer have anything in common as most of the people i know have kids, and for some reason mothers tend to hang around with other mothers and i can’t help that i don’t have children i can show off.
I also stopped speaking to a lot of family, which in all honesty this was my idea – I can’t say why i did it but at the time i was a bit upset with how someone close to my mum was treating her and i thought at that moment i should just delete that part of the family incase arguments and drama happened or things got awkward. I don’t like explaining why this person or that person aren’t speaking so i got scared and thought that i would be hated and my mum would also. Which i guess my anxiety plays a huge part in that as when i think about it, i shouldn’t of gotten myself upset and made decisions based on those feelings. I don’t know if i ever will speak to them again as i am quite stubborn and i hate saying sorry and explaining why. I feel like i shut the wrong people out, when i should of cut out those that were making me sad.

I still have hope that this year will be my year and i will be a lot happier – and i have been happier this week. It’s just little things we reflect on that made me sad. I have my hobby to keep me busy and make me happy.

SO WHATS NEXT!!?!?!?!
Okay, so i mentioned before that i was thinking about setting up a shop – Online. I’ve been trying to figure out how on earth i would keep up with orders? SO would a waiting list work? But then i think people would get tired of waiting and then i thought about slots, I know what i am saying is quite confusing but i understand what i am trying to do which is most important. Though it may of been done before so i need to market research – OH i did some research on Etsy, was curious as to how much some people sell stuff and no joke, a very popular person on my Instagram was selling a blanket for like 145 i think the most expensive one i saw was 245. – So this is my next question are people willing to spend that much on hand crafted items?

PLEASE HELP ME – If anyone reads this all, let me know if your a crafter how much you price? Or if you are a buyer what does your price range tend to be? I know rule of supplies + time blah blah  – Some people don’t like to charge that much and some do. So yes please let me know.

& with that i will leave it here. I have taken some pictures of diamonds for tomorrows blog so i am all prepared!
Have great afternoon where ever you are, stay safe 🙂 xoxo